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Showing posts from October, 2010

Lawyers and cases

NOC arrived last week on Monday and I hoped to take the file to the lawyer on Tuesday. It is amazing that not even one thing ever happens as it should. It appears there is alot of in-fighting and office politics among the managers, greed amongst the lawyers to get fees for work not done, and talking in circles, non-responsiveness, or long stories that say nothing, as usual, so that you can never get a straight answer or simple action to move things forward. Let's hope on Monday I get the file and we can proceed to get the adoption case filed. If we are lucky, only 2-3 months. If not, 4-6 months or more. As soon as Sofi is feeling better, we are going to Amritsar to pray for a speedy resolution to this ordeal so that we can leave. #

de-lousing time!

Finally, Sofi is home with me full time. Sadly, the poor thing has a severe chest congestion and sounds like darth vadar so neither of us is sleeping much yet. It's no fun taking lots of medicine and supplements and both of us neing inaugurated to a nebulizer. She is not eating much either. It has been 2 whole days Sofi has not been to the ashram and I think she is fine on the whole, but she is no doubt missing all the fun and commotion of all the kids being around. It's pretty quiet at our house. Thank goodness we have 2 big dogs to keep her amused. We went back to the ashram today to try to work on her papers, to be given the run around again, more delays, but she had fun playing with her friends. She was happy to go there, but also happy to leave. We also went to the park and she rode on a slide for the 1st time and liked it. Then she got sleepy so it's home and now a nap. Scary thing tho is that since she has been home, I noticed she was itching her head alot. She did t...

Felines and Friends

My biggest concern taking Sofi out of the ashram was wondering how she would handle the peace and quiet. When I first met Sofi, she was only close to the ladies in the babies room as they were the ones looking after her. At that time, she was not close to the children. However, over the past 6 months, she has grown really close to the kids and loves to play with them and they all run around and have fun. Some of the time when I am not there, the kids kept her happy. So in taking her away and taking her "home" with me, I was worried that she would miss all that. Luckily so far she has been absolutely fine. She is pretty adaptable that way as most little kids are. We think they need things a certain way, but they are great at just going with whatever is going on. We had a nice outing to the store yesterday and she liked that. Today we are going out again, as Sofi just likes being around people. The housekeepers here at my Uncle's house are just loving having her around. Sh...

Custody at last!

Around 6 months after meeting Sofi, and endless delays in paperwork, I finally have been given custody of Sofi. It is really nice to have some quiet time just the two of us, finally. Sofi's first night with me we treated ourselves to samosa and gulab jamun - her favourites. Sofi fell asleep at 9 exhausted. Sadly she is again sick and stayed up all night coughing and having a hard time breathing so neither of us got much sleep. But still Sofi was up at 5:30 smiling and babbling and playing. We had a great 1st morning, with porridge, and then another visit to the ashram to deal with the next round of paperwork and next series of obstacles and delay. It is amazing that they never seem to run out of some reason to stall the process. Now some peoblem appointing the lawyer to file the case that will declare me Sofi's mother. If only they could put any energy toward getting things done instead of letting files just languish under neglect. Sadly it is the children who remain stuck in t...

origin of the babies and children at the ashram

People are curious about the babies and children at the ashram. Naturally, I am not able to discuss any particular child, but in general there is a common theme - they are nearly all girls. I have read that abortions of girls and infanticide of females is extremely high in this state of Punjab. It is believed that parents are ok with 1 girl, and can accept a 2d sometimes, but a 3d girl is difficult for them to handle. There is still an outdated notion of girls being a burden and so parents, or often it would be their families, are not too thrilled to have a girl. It appears to also relate to whether they already have a boy or not. It is odd, given that it is increasingly common for the Punjabi males to have a serious problem with alcohol or drugs, but that is the way it is. Many of the babies who end up at the ashram come without any history or background. They are abandoned at various places and end up here. The wonderful part is that almost every child here is getting adopted into r...

Hallelulah!!! NOC has been issued.

I almost cannot believe it is done, as it's been such a delayed process, but the Indian government's agency CARA (Central Adoption Resouce Authority), in New Delhi, has yesterday issued the crucial No Objection Certificate. I had personally submitted the papers on Sept 15th, expected clearance around the 28th, had some delays and when I went in yesterday to check on things, it turns out they had lost the Article 5 letter that the US Embassy had sent back in August. Some quick running around, bluffing my way into the Embassy without an appointment, begging them to immediately get me another copy, and they happily obliged, running back to CARA and astonishing them that within about an hour I was back with the missing Article 5. Apparently this eagerness impressed them as they were touched to have someone soo enthusiastic to be a parent and they found my attitude to be really positive and made them feel good to issue NOC. I told them I was praying to take custody of Sofi before D...

Government paperwork is finally pending at CARA...

All summer long, as I melted in the unusually high temperatures with rare moments in the AC, I was praying and asking the ashram to send my file to the official Indian government agency, CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority).  It is CARA's NOC (no objection clearance) that is crucial in progressing things. After NOC is when I will finally be able to take custody of Sofi - as long as we stay within India - while the adoption case gets started and ends. I had been asking that the ashram send the papers to CARA since early July. July passed with no movement. August passed with a constant stream of promises and excuses. September continued with more of the same. It is hard to see why things just languish and instead of things getting done, they just don't get done. Everyone who hears how long and horrible things are for me here just assumes this must be a case of someone looking for a bribe! No one has asked directly. The senior people are honest and sincere, but ineffective,...